


Black Pansies

by Hwasbabie



Category: ATEEZ (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Boys In Love, College, Eventual Relationships, Fiction, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Mention of Disease, Mention of blood, Mystery, Pining, Popular Jung Wooyoung, Romance, Secret Admirer, Shy Choi San, Woosan, mention of throwing up, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:29:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27013534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hwasbabie/pseuds/Hwasbabie
Summary: Violent coughs worked their way out of Choi San as black pansy petals begged to be released from his throat just at the thought of one pretty purple haired boy. San knew he was in trouble when said boy didn't even know he existed. The biggest question is will Choi San accept death or fight for his life.Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where when a person falls in love, but it is one sided love, they cough up flower petals. As the disease gets worse they can even cough up whole flowers. There are two options to this disease either have the person you fell in love with fall in love with you back (plationic love doesn't count) or suffer a painful death as flowers bloom in your lungs.-ON HOLD-
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55





	1. Black Beauty Pansies

**Author's Note:**

> Hi welcome to my first work, thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy!

Gripping the sides of the toilet bowl while viciously coughing up black pansy petals was not exactly how Choi San imagined his Friday morning going, but here he was. Yes that’s right San has Hanahaki Disease. A disease that the man thought wasn’t even real until yesterday when a black petal fell from his lips after a long coughing fit.   
You may be asking why black pansies and who is Choi San in love with. Simple. Black was Jung Wooyoung’s favorite color. A man who has never even spared a glance in the direction of the shy Choi San, yet he was madly in love with him.   
Wooyoung was the man everyone wanted. Girls, boys, you name it they wanted to be him or date him. Maybe because of his loud personality or maybe for the shy pretty boy Kang Yeosang at his side. Either way they wanted him. With looks to match his bold personality many would say Wooyoung was blessed from the gods. Wooyoung has beautiful creamy skin, a mole like an angel’s kiss under his eyes, the fluffiest purple hair, and the biggest prettiest smile. What’s not to love. The only thing the man was lacking was height, but he was never lost in a crowd or forgotten with his shrieking laugh and his bold looks. Everyone always had their eye on him. Including shy Choi San. A man most didn’t know. San sits alone in the lunch cafe, airpods tucked securely in his ears hoping to get a glance at the pretty boy who always comes in when he does. San was by no means unattractive, maybe if the boy opened his mouth and showed his true bubbly personality he would be seen by others. Most consider San mysterious in his all black outfits and long hair with a gleaming white strip in the front to match, Mingi, San’s only friend, said it would make him look cool and approachable but that didn’t work. San had terrible anxiety, the only thing getting him through the day being the small pill he took each morning and his nails bitten to the nub. Luckily, his campus had an option for students like San to have their own rooms. San had a small room with a small bathroom connected to it. This didn’t help San’s case of being a mystery, if he wasn’t in class he seemed to be in his room. Even Mingi couldn’t get San to leave and hang out with Mingi’s other friends.   
This was an old problem now as San wipes his shaking lips staring down at the few black petals in the toilet. San didn’t sleep last night after the first petal fell from anxiety and from hours of research only to find out it is inevitable his death. San could never speak to Wooyoung to somehow make the smaller male return his feelings. This left one option for San, death. San knew he had a few months left and maybe he was a bit happy that at least the other male’s favorite color was black so he didn’t have to be coughing up red roses. He had read that those hurt the most because of the thorns. San had no one to turn to to tell about this new development, scared that Mingi would try to save the day as he always does and set the two up and San didn’t have a family anymore. Not after he told his mother he was gay. Once the words left his mouth San was kicked out of his family. Luckily he waited to tell his parents the day he was moving into his dorm. Again to San this is an old problem that he won’t have to deal with for long.   
San pushed his body off the floor seeing the clock shining 7:45 am, 15 minutes until he needed to be in class. San pulled on his usual black pants paired with a plain fitted black long sleeve shirt and black combat boots. He ran a shaky hand through his hair before popping the small pill into his mouth and swallowing it with a half drunk water from the night before and grabbing his bag. His face screamed exhaustion, but no one would notice unless San bumped into Mingi, which for his sake today he prayed he didn’t. San was an english major he always found created worlds much more interesting than the real world, but maybe now life was becoming more interesting. San booked it to his first class of the day, literature 101. Sounds boring, but as an English major you kind of have to take these classes especially the first year. The lecture hall was dull almost matching the teacher at the front and San’s mind couldn’t focus. After the first black petal came out San was either shaking, thinking about his life coming to an end soon or thinking about the perfect man who had caused this. San knew he liked Wooyoung, maybe too much when he would change his route around university to be able to see the pretty boy bouncing down the hall, but he never thought he was this madly in love with him.  
But when San thought about the pretty short boy it was silly not to see how madly in love he was. San could tell you almost the exact placement of Wooyoung’s mole under his eye and on his bottom lip. San could draw Wooyoung’s face from memory, and sometimes did. San loved listening to Wooyoung’s laugh and often turned his music off when he saw Wooyoung enter the busy cafe because he just wanted to listen to the younger male. San was head over heels for Wooyoung and if it wasn’t obvious enough by the way San stared at him it was obvious by the deep black petals scratching at San’s throat just by the thought of Wooyoung. But Wooyoung was used to eyes following him. Wooyoung never tried to figure out who was looking because everyone was and he knew it, but he wasn’t mean or cocky about it he just didn’t really care. Wooyoung was happy with his best friend at his side and didn’t care when others would watch his every move. Maybe that’s why Wooyoung never noticed the taller male’s eyes staring deep at him from across the cafe or the same male following nearby just to catch a glance while he walks to class. Maybe that’s why Wooyoung didn’t even know the name Choi San. Wooyoung wasn’t dumb though he had spotted the male once and asked the boy at his side who the cute boy was only to be answered with a shrug. Sure Wooyoung thought San was attractive, many people did, but after spotting him once Wooyoung didn’t make an effort to approach the boy, San was just another pretty boy who was attracted to him for his looks. Or so Wooyoung thought.   
The professor announcing class was over was what pulled San out of his thoughts. San felt like he was going to burst as his anxiety usually stopped him from coughing in class, but now with the scratching feeling of petals added on San was so scared of one slipping out that he was making it worse. Today was the first day San avoided his usual routine of catching a glimpse of the pretty boy instead ducking into a bathroom. San slammed a stall closed viciously coughing feeling relief as three pretty black petals landed on the floor. San was terrified of anyone ever finding out that the quiet boy had hanahaki disease, so he quickly collected the petals, throwing them into the toilet, flushing it, and rushing out. Luckily for San he had his favorite class next rushing on the old path he had left behind to spot the prettiest boy he’s ever seen. San made it just in time for his creative writing class. One reason this was his favorite was because San was able to write about just about anything as the professor gave weird prompts that could be interpreted 100 ways and let the kids have full creativity. San had one too many times this semester already written about the boy who had given him this disease, but today was no different. San needed to let out his emotions from this new development and luckily today’s prompt was no different than usual.   
By the time class had finished, San sat staring at his sheet full of the details of Wooyoung’s pretty purple hair knowing it went off topic, but hoping he can worm his way into the professor believing it went with the prompt if asked about it. San handed in his paper and strolled to the cafe to grab lunch before heading back to his dorm. After grabbing his mediocre lunch San sat in his usual spot quickly shoving in his airpods. Just as he did this here came the prettiest boy to grace earth. Today Wooyoung was wearing tight black jeans that hugged his muscular thighs so well with some rips that showed off skin. On top he wore a sky blue fitted turtleneck and one silver chain on top and thin framed glasses sitting atop his pretty nose. San was kicking himself that he missed seeing the pretty boy this morning. Wooyoung was laughing loudly gripping the slightly taller boy next to him. Wooyoung’s eyes squinted up while he threw his head on the boy's shoulder showing off his pretty smokey eye and silver dangling earrings to finish off his outfit. San was so in love with the short boy his eyes followed the pretty boy while he picked up probably not enough food for himself.   
San wished he could get up and walk over to the pretty boy and ask him why he only got a small amount of food. He wished he could buy the boy lunch so he knew he would eat enough. Tell the pretty boy how perfect he really thought he was. Run his fingers through the pretty boy’s soft hair and make sure the boy knew how much San loved him. But he never would. San knew he would never make his way over to the pretty boy. But something in San pushed him today. San usually waited for Wooyoung to throw away his lunch to finally walk over and throw away his plate so he could watch. Today San felt bold or at least what he considered bold. San pulled his bag on his shoulder and grabbed his half eaten meal walking across the cafe and tossing it in the trash. This was something San would never do and it scared him, but what scared him the most was the moment his eyes locked with the pretty purple haired boy. San’s bold attitude quickly crumbled as he let his eyes drop quickly to the floor feeling the pressure build in his chest.   
Sadly for San, Wooyoung decided at the same moment to get up and throw his trash away, catching San’s eyes on him. Wooyoung locked eyes with the pretty boy in front of him and again sadly for San Wooyoung was also feeling bold. Being the second time Wooyoung had caught eyes with this mysterious pretty boy, he decided to approach him. Wooyoung doesn’t know why he decided to approach the taller overly handsome boy, but something about the way the boy was looking at him drew Wooyoung in. Sadly for Wooyoung the taller man turned quickly rushing out of the cafe as the words “Hey what’s your name” fell from Wooyoung’s lips. Wooyoung was left with his hand stretched forward to greet the male who was no longer there. Wooyoung saw from the cafe window the taller male seeming to be headed to the male dorms and was left very confused as to why the boy disappeared so quickly.   
San just barely made it back to his dorm before he was violently coughing over his toilet until bloody black petals sat pretty on top of the surface of the water. Staring into the toilet bowl this finally broke San. Fat hot tears poured down his face as he looked at the beautiful petals reminding him of the beautiful boy who was walking near him in the cafe. San immediately recalled the past five minutes. The memories flooded about how San’s mind went blank when he had seen that beautiful boy walking to him. His fight or flight kicked in or as San’s should be called flight or flight. When seeing that angel approaching him, San's mind screamed to run and the petals in his throat roared up begging to be released all over the boy approaching him. San’s body ran as fast as his legs would take him until he reached his room. San couldn’t control his tears as they racked through his body, panic slowly building in his body scared of ever facing the man he’s so madly in love with and scared of his death soon to come. San felt trapped in his own body. He so badly wanted to live, but knew that wasn’t an option. He knew he would never become an author now, never be able to write the stories in his mind to help others. He felt mad at Wooyoung wishing he never loved him wishing he didn’t fall in love with the ball of sunshine named Jung Wooyoung. But San knew he couldn’t stay mad at Wooyoung; his brain didn’t let him hate the smaller boy, but only wanted him more to save himself. As selfish as it sounded San wanted to live, San wanted the pretty boy in his arms and to love him back. But as soon as these thoughts entered his mind, San was brought back to reality by the loud ringing of his phone and Mingi’s name flashed across the screen. San had two options pull it together and pick up or have Mingi travel to his dorm and see the male in shambles. San peeled himself off the floor quickly wiping his eyes and grabbing his phone. One talent Choi San had was the ability to seem very fine and normal after terrible crying fits. Maybe he had developed it to hide his many panic attacks or maybe to cover his emotions completely, but the boy could sound the same if he was happy or if he has just finished crying.   
This said Mingi didn’t seem to notice that the other male had just been crying his entire eyes out seconds before. Mingi was such an expressive person that as soon as San answered the phone he knew Mingi was concerned. Mingi’s deep voice blasted through the phone “San what happened!! Everyone’s talking about the mysterious boy who ran out of the cafe when Wooyoung tried to talk to him! I know it was you San why did you run aren’t you in love with Wooyoung this was your chance!” Even the mention of the events of the cafe made San’s head spin. “Mingi I have to go, I'll call you back.” San hung up hearing Mingi’s protests, but he couldn’t talk about it. Wooyoung was everything he wanted but he was also scared of the boy knowing how he felt or that he had a life threatening disease because of him. San really had two options and they both were terrifying. Die or get Jung Wooyoung to fall in love with him. The second would be easier said than done especially after what happened in the cafe.


	2. Secret Admirer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh thank you to everyone who had read this. I honestly posted this so my twitter friends could read it! I'm so glad people have enjoyed it so far.

The weekend was quickly over and for some reason Choi San was more nervous than usual. San had a busy weekend preparing something special for the purple haired angel. Maybe San is ironic, but he ordered the smaller boy a bouquet of flowers and not some random flowers, but black pansies. They were to be given to him before his first class, of course San knew his schedule, tied tight with a thin purple ribbon and a note that reads “Black pansies always remind me of you- your secret admirer.” The note was simple, maybe too simple coming from a man who planned to spend his life writing, but San couldn’t think of anything else. How does one write that without you in my life I will actually die without sounding like the creepiest person alive. So San stuck to the very plain note hoping it was enough for now to make the pretty boy get interested in his secret admirer. Knowing Wooyoung’s schedule, San knew he needed to leave the dorm a bit earlier to find a good place to watch the younger male receive the black pansies. San had developed a bit of a morning routine already adjusting to his new life. San woke up, viscous coughs racked his body as black bloody petals fell into the toilet bowl that San had run to in just enough for him to let out the petals. After this San would brush his teeth to get the taste of blood out of his mouth, take his pill, and change. Seeing as that was a weekend routine San had to actually leave him room today to go to class. San left 30 minutes early just to be sure he didn’t miss the purple haired boy receiving the flowers. San sat on a bench near the front of the boys dorms pulling a book out. Luckily the bench was a bit hidden behind a few dying trees, so San was easily able to hide, but also spot the purple haired male happily making his way out of the dorm with Yeosang at his side.  
Wooyoung looked perfect today. The air had a slight chill that was setting in, so Wooyoung had on fitted black pants, a plain lower cut black shirt showing off his collarbones, and a bold cheetah print coat that drew everyone's eyes to him as soon as he entered a room. You can see the shock on Wooyoung’s face when a delivery man stopped him, San had told them the boy had bright purple hair and was on the shorter side and his name was Jung Wooyoung. The man handed Wooyoung the bouquet and the look of delight on the boy's face could warm the entire world. Wooyoung happily bounced pulling on Yeosang’s arm loudly yelling “SOMEONE GOT ME FLOWERS YEO THEY’RE MY FAVORITE FLOWERS LOOK LOOK!” Wooyoung was stopped in his yelling when Yeosang asked who, the angel quickly found the little note and pouted telling the older boy that they were from a secret admirer and was slightly disappointed wondering who knew his favorite flower and liked him enough to send him flowers. As soon as the pair had walked off with a happy, yet pouty Wooyoung stomping along, San let out a breath of relief with the biggest smile on his face. He had made the pretty boy jump around in happiness.  
San collected his bag rubbing his arms as he didn’t realize how cold it really was getting outside and rushing to his first class. He had the same schedule as on Friday, but today another interruption happened. Before San could make it all the way to his first class he felt someone pull on his bag strap pulling him into their arms. Panic rushed through San’s frozen body that quickly left as he realized the much taller male holding him was just Mingi. Panic reentered his body when he realized he never called Mingi back Friday. Before San can even open his mouth to explain Mingi beats him to it. “San, what’s going on? You never called me back and never came to the door this weekend.” San had also ignored the knocks on his door and his name being called by the taller male. “Sorry Min I was busy and forgot to call you back” yeah that excuse works, or so San thought. Mingi didn’t want to upset the boy too much, but also wanted answers “San, Why didn’t you text me or maybe come to the door?” How do you explain to someone that you were busy cleaning blood off your bathroom floor because you didn’t make it in time for one of the worst coughing fits you had had yet. “I must have been asleep when you knocked, I really didn’t hear it, I’m sorry Min I’ll do better to not worry you, but I really have to go to my lecture.” Mingi grumbled a bit, but let go of the smaller male so he could hurry to class, but Mingi didn’t plan to let San off so easily knowing he was avoiding what Mingi really wanted to talk about.  
San had never been more excited to enter the dull lecture hall, but what he wasn’t expecting was to see a pretty purple haired male standing talking to his professor. Literature 101 wasn’t a course for only English majors and was a requirement for most majors, but San never thought he would see the smaller male standing there holding the flowers he sent to him with a pouty look asking for the professor to take his paper they had due on Friday late. San ducted his head climbing the stairs of the lecture hall hoping, no praying that Wooyoung didn’t spot him and if he did he forgot all about Friday. San tried to tuck himself into the grey corner hoping that his black outfit blended right in, but San couldn’t keep his eyes off the pretty boy slightly bouncing while pouting and whining “Professor please I’m sorry I thought I had brought it with me Friday, but it was in my dorm let me give it to you now.” Just like everyone else the professor couldn’t deny Wooyoung telling the small boy that it would be a few points off, but taking it anyway. Wooyoung bounced around pulling his essay out and giving it in thanking the man and blushing slightly when the man complimented his flowers with Wooyoung telling him and the whole class by his loud voice “Thank you they're from a secret admirer! How romantic right?” San thought he was safe as the angel bounced to the door, but before he left he looked up locking eyes with San slightly tilting his head to the side and looking at the mysterious boy with a confused look for a few seconds then did the most unexpected thing, he waved at San before bouncing out of the lecture hall so he wouldn’t be late to class. Everyone’s eyes went to San as Wooyoung did this. People were whispering about what was the mysterious boy's connection to the Jung Wooyoung.  
As the whispers filled his eyes, so did the petals fill his throat. San did something he never did he raised his hand and asked to go to the restroom, luckily the old teacher didn’t care, but for many this was the first time hearing San’s voice and it sounded cloudy and strange. Only because of the petals pushing their way in his throat. San started coughing before he even could leave the room rushing out and running as quick as his legs would take him to the closest bathroom releasing the bloody petals into the toilet. San heard others entering and leaving while he stood over the toilet, but never expected to hear the angel’s voice who caused this all. “Yeo hold my flowers pleaseeeee then we’ll go to class okay!” San was shaking praying he didn’t start coughing again before the shorter male could leave.  
Sadly for San just the presence of the younger male after this morning sent shockwaves through his body and a pretty blush on his cheeks. He couldn’t hold back the vicious coughs long enough for the smaller man to leave.  
Wooyoung had made it to washing his hands wondering who was in the stall as he heard the sounds of someone coughing. It sounded like they were really sick, it worried Wooyoung as he was a caring person and wanted to help the person to the nurses office so he spoke up. “Um are you okay in there, do you need the nurse? I can help take you”  
Sans body shook heavily, he couldn’t not answer, but he was scared looking at the bloody petals and the little string of blood dripping from his lip he finally answered back, “I’m fine! Just seasonal cold!” This wasn’t enough to convince Wooyoung, but it was enough to show Wooyoung that whoever was in there was probably hung over or something and didn’t want to get caught, so he went to where Yeo was standing waiting for him, asked for his flowers back, and left.  
San let out a breath of relief hearing the bathroom door close sliding down and wiping his mouth on his black sleeve. San’s anxiety was so bad today already after hearing the whispers of others, but now it was at an all time high. San felt his heart beating erratically as a heavy blush adorned his face and the taste of metallic blood settled in his mouth. Maybe in a different world San could easily talk to the pretty boy, maybe even be the one for him, but it had only been one day and San already felt like giving up. San wasn’t known to be the most optimistic by people who really knew him. San was ready to give up, but he knew his options. After a weekend of more research San found out there is one other option; an expensive risky surgery that would remove all memories of the one he loved. Even if San had the money he knows he would never pay someone to rip away the memories of the beautiful sun that was Jung Wooyoung. San would rather die slowly choking on his own blood and full flowers than forget the smile of the angel he called Wooyoung.  
Realizing he had been sitting on the cold bathroom floor for all too long San pulled himself up wiping his lips once more and exiting checking himself in the mirror to fix his hair a bit and rushing back to lecture. Luckily enough the old professor didn’t really realize how long San had been gone only welcoming him back to class and returning to his lecture. This didn’t go unnoticed by other students though. Many started whispering about why he was gone so long was it to meet up with the beautiful Jung Wooyoung. People were jealous of Yeosang at first when they were not sure the taller male’s relationship with the beautiful Wooyoung, but once they learned he had no interest in the smaller male the rumors quickly died down, but now that the younger male had been seen twice interacting with the mysterious male San knew what was to come. Piled on top of that, the word of Wooyoung’s secret admirer spread quickly. When class had ended San returned to the route where he could spot the pretty male and heard people talking some called it creepy some called it bold. Some said the person should just ask Wooyoung out and not play games with the male and others kicked themselves for not thinking of doing that too.  
San just secured his spot on the wall he usually stands and watched the purple haired boy turn the corner holding the pansies close to his chest giggling. Wooyoung seemed to be looking around more than usual today almost as if he was searching for something. Wooyoung remembers the first time he saw the overly handsome taller male that he still hadn’t caught the name of was down this hallway. Wooyoung looked through the crowd not seeing the male and remembering he saw him leaned against a wall. Finally Wooyoung’s eyes caught the handsome man and his face lit up. Tapping Yeosang’s arm “Wait for me okay!” Wooyoung unhooked his arm with Yeosang making his way right towards the taller male on the wall. Wooyoung donned a big smile as he pushed his way through. San quickly realized that the male was headed towards him and ducked pushing his way into the crowd of people to avoid Wooyoung too scared to face him. This only fueled Wooyoung to catch the taller male to find out why he kept running away from him. Not to be cocky, but no one ran away from Jung Wooyoung. Sadly for Choi San, Wooyoung always gets what he wants. When people notice the shorter male pushing through they make way for him and especially when he yells “Excuse me!” People move quickly and Wooyoung has his target in sight grabbing the taller man's wrist, which San quickly pulls out of his grasp. “Stop running from me! Why are you running from me?” Hearing those words San’s mind went blank only slipping out slight stutters and a clumsy quick sorry. “What’s your name? You stare at me and then when I try to talk to you, you run away why?” Wooyoung isn’t one to back down watching as San stumbles out an “S-San and I-I don’t know what” before he had a chance to finish Wooyoung had already cut him off again with his loud mouth. “Nice to meet you San, but don’t lie to me! You’ve been running away when I caught you looking at me many times! Why?” Before San can answer the feisty male, Yeosang is at his side pulling his arm telling him to leave the poor shy kid alone. “Come on Woo, the kid never speaks, he probably can’t help but look at someone as loud as you.” Yeosang then drags Wooyoung off with a quick apology to San.  
All San can do is race to the bathroom for the second time today to release the petals thinking about how beautiful Wooyoung looked even as he complained with him. The realization dawned on San, Wooyoung knew his name now.  
What San didn’t know was that at that exact moment Wooyoung was walking into his modern dance class that he shared with Mingi’s boyfriend, Jeong Yunho. Yunho was a close friend of Wooyoung as the two were both dance majors. When Wooyoung stomped pouting into dance pulling his coat off his friend Yunho approached him to ask why he was so pouty. “Yeosang pulled me away from San! You know that boy I told you about that ran away from me yesterday! I just wanted to get to know him!” The name San immediately rang a bell in Yunho’s head as he knew his boyfriend is good friends with the quiet San, but he had only met him a few times since San never came out with them. “San as in Choi San?” Wooyoung then realized he never got the handsome boy's last name. “Uh I didn’t get his last name, but he’s tall, wears all black, handsome, has a strip of white in his hair!” This excited Yunho to know the quiet boy that Wooyoung was interested in learning more about. “I know him! He’s Choi San, him and Mingi are friends! Honestly I think Mingi is his only friend that I know of, but he’s nice the few times I’ve met him he’s just really….quiet.” This set Wooyoung's determination to get to know the quiet handsome boy. This also gave Yunho something to tell his boyfriend about later at lunch. Sadly conversation was cut off when the dance teacher came in and started the warm up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please do comment or leave kudos if you liked it! That always motivates me to write! I also don't really have a set update time I just was done writing chapter two, so I decided to post. Thank you so much for all the support. If you are from twitter Hi, if not and you want to follow me my @ is Hwas_babie Thank you for all the love!


	3. Are you sick?

San’s phone had been blown up by messages from Mingi after San had decided to avoid lunch to avoid the pretty purple haired boy. This led to Mingi banging on San’s door telling him how he wouldn’t leave until he got in. The biggest problem; San was bent over the toilet coughing and felt exhausted. Today had been an increasingly worse day with his Hanahaki disease from the many interactions he had with Wooyoung. San was busy spitting blood into the toilet while Mingi threatened to call the floor’s resident to get them to unlock San’s door. San knew Mingi was serious, so he pulled his weak body off the floor spitting once more and flushing the toilet. Once San opened the door Mingi pushed his way in as he always did and San just shut the door. “San, Wooyoung, THE Jung Wooyoung the kid you’re in love with talked to you today and you tried to run away. At this point something isn’t adding up, didn't like last week when you talked about Wooyoung you said how you would kill to just speak to him!” How do you explain that a lot changes in a week and the idea of talking to Wooyoung is a dream to the older male, but the reality is a mess. San’s anxiety would never let him talk to Wooyoung normally and now the petals in his throat weren’t going to allow this either. “Mingi you know talking to him is a dream, but I could never really talk to him with my anxiety.” Mingi knew that San had problems with his anxiety being the whole reason Mingi was his only friend. Mingi, not wanting to upset the smaller boy who seemed to be in his head, decided to drop the topic of San running away and focus on the boy's crush. “So San, Woo talked to you! When’s the wedding or are we not there yet?” San’s face bloomed in a scarlet blush. “Mingi we aren’t there, he doesn’t know me he just spoke to me because he caught me looking at him, how embarrassing!” The pair hung out for the rest of the night with Mingi coming up with a great idea to help San beat Wooyoung’s new admirer not knowing it was San.   
The next morning came and San woke up earlier than usual. Starting his routine as he normally did, but afterwards he walked towards his messy closet from Mingi rummaging through it the night before. San pulled out a pair of black jeans, a nice black belt, and a tighter lilac purple thin sweatshirt. Mingi had helped San pick out an outfit that would surely catch the attention of Wooyoung. San felt silly pulling on the purple sweatshirt that hugged his body closer than most of his other clothes. But the purple color reminded him of the pretty boy who filled his mind. San quickly laced his boots pulling on his black bag running his hand through his hair fixing it looking at the fading white blond strip. When San left the boy’s dorm he didn’t expect the cold air to hit him or the sound of the pretty boy laughing to fill his ears. Just steps in front of him with no one else around was Jung Wooyoung and two older students named Park Seonghwa and Kim Hongjoong. Seonghwa was the Wooyoung of the sophomores, everyone wanted him, but he was off the market. Taken by the short fierce red haired male named Kim Hongjoong who didn’t come to play around or let others eye fuck his boyfriend. You almost never caught them apart unless Hongjoong was in the studio working on a new song that he would end up dedicating to the taller man. One bad thing for San was the group wasn’t moving; they were standing in front of the boy’s dorms like they had bumped into each other. Hongjoong’s hand placed firmly in Seonghwa’s while they laughed to keep warm. San knew he had to pass the group and instantly regretted today being the day he let Mingi talk him into changing his style to try to impress the shorter male.   
San sucked in an extra breath of air adjusting his bag and tried to walk past the group before anyone even noticed he had passed, but everyday feels like it is San’s unlucky day. “San? San! Good morning!” The voice of an angel stopped San in his steps and made him turn around to see three sets of eyes on him including the angel himself. “Good morning.” San’s reply was too quiet for Wooyoung’s liking and the smaller boy bounced over to San pulling him over when the taller boy didn't approach right away. “San these are my friends Park Seonghwa and Kim Hongjoong! I like your sweatshirt San I didn’t know you liked purple too!” San felt overwhelmed by the grip of the younger boy who still hadn’t let go as he was now stroking the fabric. San couldn’t help but just stare as Wooyoung was wearing a pair of light washed jeans with one single rip revealing a section of his muscular thigh paired with a bright white sweater complimenting his purple hair. San was brought out of his thoughts as Seonghwa and Hongjoong decided to break the silence and say hello. “Oh uh hello nice to meet you and um yeah it’s my favorite color.”   
Hongjoong and Seonghwa shared a knowing look while looking at the two boys looking at each other, finally Seonghwa spoke up “Well Joong and I have to go, but we will see you at lunch right Woo?” This brought Wooyoung back realizing he was stroking the handsome man's arm while staring at him. “Ah Yes!! Well San and I will go now, Yeo is sick so I’ll make Sani walk me! Bye guys!” This also brought San out of his mind as he realized that Wooyoung wants him to walk him to class, something that only Yeosang has ever done. “Are you sure you want me to walk you to class?” San felt panic when he saw the smaller man frown. “I mean only if you want to, I hate to walk alone.” San shook his head quickly grabbing Wooyoung’s forearm and pulling him slightly indicating that he did want to walk with him.   
San could feel Wooyoung happily bouncing next to him, but he was silent, scared of messing up or worse spitting petals out, his arm burned where Wooyoung had been rubbing and where Wooyoung was currently gripping him. Wooyoung had a habit of holding onto others, no one questioned when Wooyoung held Yeosang’s arm everyday, but as soon as the two entered the main building everyone was whispering. First most had never seen the mysterious boy wear anything other than black and second they noticed the smaller male holding his arm happily. Finally Wooyoung spoke up, “What class do you have first? I have history of dance, so mine is this way.” San nodded along as if he didn’t know the younger's schedule. “I have french, but I’ll walk you to class.” This made Wooyoung so happy that the taller was willing to walk him in the opposite direction of his class. San noticed the purple haired angel smiling wide pulling San along as if he didn’t know where the class was. Once at the classroom Wooyoung grabbed San. “Join me for lunch? I’ll be at the cafe at like noon if you’re not in class.” Wooyoung was always bold, but today he surprised himself by planting a kiss on the tallers cheek before he could even answer, rushing into his lecture hall. San reached up touching his cheek a fierce blush covering his face and flower petals scratching his throat. No matter how happy San felt he raced to the bathroom feeling horrible as he was a coughing mess before he even made it into the bathroom holding petals in. Luckily for San he didn’t let any petals slip out while coughing on his way to the bathroom. San filled the toilet with pretty black petals that reminded him of the most beautiful man he’s ever been lucky enough to love. San coughed hard, gripping the toilet spitting up blood when he heard the familiar voice of the pretty boy. “San are you okay? I saw you coming in here, I just had to use the bathroom, oh my god are you okay?” The panic in Wooyoung’s voice scared San so bad as he coughed. “I think I just ate something bad this morning.” The lie was easy to spot for anyone, but maybe Wooyoung didn’t want to pressure the taller man to tell him because what if he had something wrong with him and Wooyoung was being insensitive pressuring him to tell him. “Ah okay, um if you need anything don’t be scared to come find me I can take you to the nurse you sound really sick.” It then dawned on Wooyoung, he realized why he recognized San’s quiet voice, but now he had connected the dots. San was the male in the bathroom the other day who sounded really sick. Wooyoung was starting to get concerned hearing the male for the second time. “San are you sick? Like really sick? You don’t have to tell me but um I heard you the other day.” San’s blood ran cold as he heard Wooyoung rest his hand on the stall concern lacing his voice. “I’m fine Wooyoung please leave me alone.” Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say, but San was scared of the younger male finding out about the flower petals ripping their way out of his throat for the younger male and he was scared that Wooyoung would think he was strange for this. “Oh yeah um okay.” San heard the door close as he assumed Wooyoung left. San didn’t have time to kick himself for being an idiot before more petals scratched their way up. San knew he had 2 to 6 months realistically it seemed to be more like 2 as his disease grew worse. San decided maybe he would just miss class today, his throat ached and his anxiety was clawing away at him. With this San wiped his mouth on his sleeve, not thinking seeing the sickly red blood smear on the pretty purple sleeve. Grabbing his bag he pushed his way out of the stall and splashed some water on his face already exhausted. What San didn’t expect was Mingi to be standing outside of the bathroom. If this day wasn’t long enough.   
What San didn’t know is Wooyoung left and went to his class sitting next to Yunho. Curiosity got the best of the small boy. “Is San really sick or something?” The much taller man looked very confused. “No? Why?” Wooyoung was even more confused now. “This is the second time I’ve caught San in the bathroom. He sounds like he’s really sick. He keeps coughing and spitting up, at least that’s what it sounds like. It almost sounds like he’s choking. I tried to help him and he snapped at me, I thought well maybe I had pushed a sensitive topic like he’s been sick for a while or something!” Even though Yunho didn’t know the quiet male he was still concerned and decided to ask Mingi, who freaked out and found out which bathroom San was at. “Woo, Mingi said San has never been like that, but since they’re close maybe San will tell him. Don’t worry too much, okay?” This really didn’t help Wooyoung’s worries.


	4. Open your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for such a short chapter! College can keep me busy sometimes!

“San you can’t avoid me get back here!” Mingi followed after the shorter male who was rushing through students, finally pushing through the doors walking outside. The cold air felt amazing on San’s burning body and his lungs gladly accepted the air as he panted slightly. As soon as San had excited the Bathroom Mingi saw the blood on his sleeve and grabbed his arm. San ripped his arm away as questions left Mingi’s mouth, San ran for it feeling pressure building up in his chest, but not from the petals, but from fear of his secret being exposed. Sadly for San, Mingi being taller meant he had longer legs and was easily able to catch up to the shorter male. “San please! I’m just worried about you! First I found out you're sick from a guy you’ve said all of two words to and now I see you have blood on your shirt! What happened? Please talk to me.” Guilt was eating San alive. “I can’t tell you out here where everyone can hear me Mingi, please let’s go to my room.” Mingi nodded following beside San, noting the smaller male’s shaking hands. Once San’s door was closed Mingi didn’t even sit down before questioning San. “So? Are you going to tell me now?” San turned avoiding eye contact with the taller male coughing slightly. “I have Hanahaki disease.” To say Mingi was shocked would be an understatement. “San don’t pull that bullshit with me, that isn't even real, really what’s wrong?” San thought this was as good a time as ever to have a coughing fit. San gripped his throat coughing as he thought of the purple haired boy, shoving Mingi slightly who was holding San’s back scared for the smaller man. San pushed his way with Mingi following to the bathroom falling to his knees coughing as black petals fell from his lips and blood ran down his chin. Mingi stood in horror as he watched his best friend gripping the toilet spitting out black petals like his life depended on it. After around five minutes of pretty black petals and blood falling from San’s lips he finally felt some relief, sitting back panting and breathing in all the air he could. “Holy shit San, fuck you weren’t lying god, who? Wooyoung?” San nodded, wiping the blood from his chin with a tissue and tossing it in the toilet flushing and pulling himself up. “San, what can I do please let me help you, why didn’t you tell me sooner? Wait how long has this been happening?” San knew by telling Mingi the taller would be full of questions and ready to help. “It’s been not that long Min, I'm sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but there’s nothing you can do to help me Min. Let’s just spend these next few months together okay?” Mingi felt like his heart was breaking knowing he was going to lose his best friend, but Mingi is a fighter unlike San. “No San, I’m not letting you die if I have to make that fucker fall in love with you myself I won’t let you die San.” This is what San was scared of, Mingi wanted to be a hero so bad. “Min, you can’t force him to love me. Please just let’s be happy while we can, Okay? I heard it gets really bad nearing the end. I want to be happy while I can Min, please?”  
Mingi and San spent the rest of the day and night together with Mingi at his side anytime his body decided it was time for flowers to fight their way out of his throat. San had thought Mingi had given up, but what he didn’t know was that while the movie was on or San was playing something that Mingi didn’t care about he was texting his boyfriend Yunho. Mingi knew he had probably crossed a line telling Yunho, but he didn’t want his best friend to die and didn’t know who to turn to. Yunho was in utter shock looking over at the small purple haired boy who was at this time warming up for their ballet class. Yunho walked over trying not to scare the poor boy. “Hey Woo, heard back from Mingi, San’s really sick, but he’s so shy that he doesn’t want others to know, but just know that he is sick.” Wooyoung looked up at Yunho pouting grumbling slightly about how San should have just said that and not worried him. “Woo, do you like San? You seem to be concerned about him.” Wooyoung’s head whipped up looking at Yunho in shock. “Yu! No! I don’t know San like at all! Isn’t it just human nature to be concerned about someone you found really sick twice in the bathroom?” Yunho nodded along. “Yeah, but Woo everyone knows you kissed his cheek. If you don’t even slightly like him, why?” A flush filled Wooyoung’s cheeks looking down. “I can’t deny he’s very handsome Yunho, I only did it to say thank you for walking me to class!!” Yunho nodded not looking a slight bit convinced, but class started with Wooyoung blushing hard pouting and Yunho smirking next to the smaller male. Maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as he thought to save San.  
Sadly, plans don’t always work out how they are meant to. San woke up the next morning with Mingi at his side while he gasped for air struggling to breathe. Mingi was so scared as the boy gripped his throat coughing hard only blood coming out of his mouth. Mingi didn’t know what to do as San grabbed his arms face turning more red, unable to get anything out. Mingi did what the one boy had asked him never to do. He called the medics. San was put on a stretcher in his black shorts and white shirt with blood staining the front. As San was wheeled out with Mingi at his side he caught eyes with the purple haired angel. Wooyoung’s eyes widened as he saw San with a streak of blood from his mouth and down his clean white shirt looking like he was going to pass out coughing hard and gripping his throat. Wooyoung was so scared at the sight. “S-San, holy shit Yeo that was San.” Yeosang held back the boy knowing there was nothing he could do. Wooyoung went through classes with anxiety in his throat. The small boy didn’t know Mingi or San’s number to try to get in contact with them. He only had Yunho in some of his classes and would ask for updates.  
San remembered the look in the boy's eyes while he was wheeled past him, vibrant blood on his shirt. The boy looked scared. San felt so sad. The night before he had a beautiful dream where he was with Wooyoung, Wooyoung loved him. He woke up with the air knocked out of his lungs begging to release, but there was a build up. At the hospital the doctors put him under and cleared his throat cutting back what they could. This disease may be rare, but it is real and the doctors knew what to do to take care of San. Mingi was so scared while he watched his best friend rest peacefully. What Mingi didn’t expect was Yunho, Wooyoung, and Yeosang to come through the doors. Yunho's eyes say I’m sorry I couldn’t stop them. Mingi nods seeing Wooyoung pull Yeosang over and grab San’s hand. “Oh goodness Yeo, he doesn’t look good. Is he okay? What happened? What’s wrong with Sannie?” Wooyoung always gave nicknames to people and it seems San has become Sannie. Mingi spoke up. “He’s okay. It’s really not my place to tell San’s medical problems he’s going to have to tell you, but he’s okay.” Wooyoung only nods while holding San’s hand in one hand and Yeosang’s arm in the other. San’s eyes fluttered open, squeezing Wooyoung's hand as he groaned. Mingi jumped up to grab a nurse and tell them San was waking up.  
When San opened his eyes he was met with the sight of an angel. Purple fluffy hair and big eyes stared down at him. He was his pretty pink lips moving, but wasn’t processing anything the boy was saying. “W-What?” Wooyoung squeezed San’s hand. “You scared me! I’m glad you’re okay.” San nodded while staring at the pretty boy who was way too close, San’s hand burned from the skin contact, and he started to cough pulling his hand away from Wooyoung covering his mouth. The nurse came in and asked everyone to step out. Once Wooyoung was out of the room the boy spit up petals on himself, but much less than usual. The nurse checked on San, collected the petals, and gave him instructions on what to do if something like this happens and he’s alone. Once the nurse leaves the group of boys comes back inside. Wooyoung speaks before anyone can. “Sannie are you okay?” The nickname sounds like sweet honey to Sans ears making a blush creep up his freckled neck. San lets out a low “Yeah I’m fine Wooyoung, don’t worry.” The younger grabs his hand. “First please just call me Woo or something Wooyoung isn’t as cute and second I can’t help but worry about you Sannie!” This can’t be real. This must be a dream. The Jung Wooyoung, the man who has caused San to get this disease says he cares about San. This feels like a dream or something must be off, but it’s real. He knows it's real by the soft skin of Wooyoung as he runs his finger tips lightly over San’s veins and the feeling of the angel grip his hand. San can only nod.  
The rest of the day goes by uneventfully and San learns that as long as he feels okay he can leave tomorrow morning. That cheers San up as he hates hospitals. Mingi decides to stay giving the key to San’s room to Yunho so he can bring a fresh outfit for San tomorrow. The three leave with Wooyoung gripping Yunho’s arm. Once the boys make it back to the dorm Yeosang goes back to his and Wooyoung’s dorm with Wooyoung trailing behind Yunho. “Are you sure you want to come in Woo? You two don’t know each other that well.” Wooyoung huffs as stubborn as ever. “Of course! Since San is bad sick he won’t mind! I’m sure it won’t be the last time I’ll be in here!” Yunho nods not really seeing a problem with it other than it may be messy, I mean Yunho has never been in before either. After Yunho opens the door and walks in, the boys stare in horror. The bed has blood on the sheets with some stains being older showing the boy had often been bleeding and there were bloody flower petals on the bed. Wooyoung looked at Yunho shaking. “Yunnie, Why um why are there flower petals? Yunho, why are there bloody flower petals on his bed? What is going on Yunho?” Yunho just looks at the boy opening his mouth a few times, but failing to say anything. “I um I don’t know.” Wooyoung can call his bullshit looking at the boy. “Yunho, who is San in love with?” Yunho looks at the smaller boy shocked. “I don’t.” Wooyoung cut him off. “Yunho we have to help him!! Who is he in love with? If we don’t help him he’ll die Yunho!” Yunho looks at Wooyoung in disbelief, could one person be so unknowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. What is going to happen between Wooyoung and San. Who knows at this point.


	5. Mingi's Mistake

San groaned waking up in his own bed after being discharged from the hospital. San opened his eyes and screamed seeing a small purple haired boy looking down at him. “Holy fuck! Woo you scared the shit out of me! How did you get in here?” The boy was gripping San’s shirt laughing. “You should have seen your face oh my god!!! Mingi let me in when he left for class.” Luckily the school had given San a few days off due to him being hospitalized. The feeling of Wooyoung’s small hands gripping his shirt sent licks of flames through him. San started coughing and Wooyoung let go pulling the boy up. “Here let me help you Sannie!!” San tried to push the boy away, but he was stronger than he looked. That’s how San ended up with his head in Wooyoung’s lap while the younger played with his hair. “Did you know?” The boy hummed. “When Yunho went to get you clothes I came with and saw your bed. San this could be way easier.” The older nodded. “I know, I’m sorry if you think I’m weird now and never want to talk to me again. It's okay. I know nothing good can come of this.” The younger tugged his hair a bit making him look up. “San I don’t think you're weird! You can’t help it.” San felt shocked at Wooyoung’s words. “Really you don’t hate me? Like seriously?” The younger nodded, playing with his hair gently. “But this could be easier San. Just tell us who you like and we can help you! Yunho said you haven’t told anyone.” The life drained out of the olders face realizing that Woooyoung knew he had this disease, but didn’t know he was the cause. Ah so this is why the younger wasn’t weirded out by him yet. “I’m sorry Woo, I can’t.” Wooyoung tugged the boy's hair again. “Just tell me San. I can’t let you die.” Wooyoungs eyes were on San’s lips and the younger couldn’t help it. He knew San was in love with someone else, but the older male was so attractive up close and the way he looked at Wooyoung wasn’t hungry like all of those other guys, he looked so sweetly at Wooyoung like he really cared. Wooyoung was leaning down with San staring up at him as he still stroked San’s hair. Until they heard the door of San’s room open and Mingi yelling a hello. The boys pulled apart so fast with San sitting up next to Wooyoung on the bathroom floor.  
An almost kiss should not make Wooyoung's mind cloudy, but the boy couldn’t help but picture San’s lips. The rest of the day Wooyoung felt restless wanting the older to kiss him. He knew it was wrong. Everything told him that San loved someone else, but the desire boiling in Wooyoung’s veins wasn’t helping him think clearly. Mingi was in the way of Wooyoung grabbing the older males shirt and smashing their lips together. Wooyoung couldn’t do that in front of Mingi. Soon the younger male left the sexual frustration in his mind too much for the boy saying he needed to practice for a big dance rehearsal tomorrow. Wooyoung didn’t even have dance tomorrow, but he couldn’t get those lips out of his mind. Wooyoung wasn’t the most dominant person, but if he needed to he would grab San and kiss the life out of him. Wooyoung groaned resting his head on his pillow. In his mind San was practically a taken man at least his heart was, and Wooyoung knew he couldn’t change his heart. He then sat up shaking his head hard. He didn’t even like the boy. Why was he thinking of him this way? He grabbed his pillow screaming into it as Yeosang walked in raising his eyebrows at the sight.  
San laid in bed thinking about Wooyoung. Were they about to kiss? Was his mind playing tricks on him? There was no way Wooyoung was really about to kiss him, but it felt like the boy was leaning down. Maybe he was just crazy. There was no way Jung Wooyoung the man of his dreams was about to kiss him. The sexual tension in the air could be cut with a knife while the younger was there, but luckily Mingi didn’t notice or at least didn’t mention it if he did. San couldn’t stop thinking about those pretty lips and that pretty mole right on his lips how he had dreamed about kissing that mole. He wanted to kiss Wooyoung and maybe that’s why his mind was playing tricks on him to think that Wooyoung wanted to kiss him. That must be it. But if it was just his mind why did they jump apart at Mingi coming in. It’s not like the boy would have minded Wooyoung playing in San’s hair. No. They didn’t want to get caught almost kissing. San can’t wrap his mind around it. He felt frustrated all over not being able to kiss Wooyoung or even discuss what had just happened between the pair, but all San knew is he wanted to kiss Wooyoung more than anything. He wanted to feel those soft lips on his that he’s been dreaming of and will do that if it’s the last thing he does.  
Wooyoung wasn’t a brat, but he always got what he wanted and after three days of high sexual tension everytime the two were alone Wooyoung was sick of it. All he knew is that he wanted to feel Choi San’s lips against his. Maybe it was the frustration from San refusing to tell him who he was in love with or maybe it was the tension everytime the younger looked down at San’s lips or maybe it was the stupid dance he just kept messing up that day, but Wooyoung was about to burst. He needed any form of stress relief. Wooyoung could have picked any stupid boy to kiss and have a bit of fun with that he wanted, but no his brain decided it wanted a kiss from the one guy who was in love with someone else and he was going to get it no matter how messed up it is. The small boy stormed out of dance class shrugging Yeosang off with his mission in mind. He practically stomped all the way to the boys dorms, not even stopping to say hello to the man at the desk like he usually does storming all the way to Choi San’s room. Wooyoung knocked on the door trying to be calm and hoping, but secretly knowing that the older was even in his room. The door opened to reveal San wearing a pair of loose grey sweatpants and a loose black t-shirt. Fuck he looked really good. “Wooyoung? What are you doing here? Don’t you have class?” Wooyoung pushed his way in pulling his shoes off walking into the room to check if anyone was there. Luckily no one was. San closed the door walking over to the shorter boy. “Woo? What’s wrong?” The boy was cut off when the younger roughly grabbed his shirt pulling him down and kissing him. San felt dizzy. Heat was burning through his body as he kissed the smaller boy back. Wooyoung wrapped his arms around San’s neck playing with his hair while he turned his head letting San deepen the kiss. Wooyoung decided he would deal with the consequences later. Right now he wanted the taller man in front of him and that’s all that mattered in his mind. San rested his hands on the boy's small hips pulling him closer savoring every second knowing it wouldn’t last forever. Eventually the boys had to pull away to breath. The boys panted resting their foreheads against each other. Once they caught their breath Wooyoung went to speak and San smashed his lips back on the boy’s. Wooyoung didn’t mind being shut up if this was what he got to shut up. The older’s lips were even better than he had pictured in his mind. Once the two had really pulled away gasping for air for the second time. Wooyoung looked at San reaching forward and gently touching his jaw line. “I’m sorry San, I just really wanted to do that. I know that you’re in love with someone, but gosh I feel dumb. I’m sorry I just really needed a kiss.” Wooyoung rambled until San kissed him again with a short peck smirking. “Woo, it’s okay. I did kiss you on my own twice now.” Wooyoung just looked at the older boy nodding. “Yeah, but what about you know your disease. Aren’t you like cheating?” San burst out laughing and the younger pouted. “Woo, I’m not dating anyone, so no I’m not cheating and I promise you they won’t mind.” Woo still pouting played with the olders fingers. “But don't give up on them Sannie they’d be an idiot to not love you.” San again just laughed and pulled the younger closer wanting to savor this moment while he can as he feels the petals at the back of his throat begging to be released. Sadly the moment ended when San couldn’t hold the petals in gasping and getting up with Wooyoung holding his waist to help guide him to the bathroom. San feels so embarrassed gripping the toilet spitting up bloody petals while the man he was in love with and had just kissed rubbed his back.  
There was a knock at the door and Wooyoung went to open it. San had told him Mingi was coming to bring his food. Mingi saw Wooyoung and raised his eyebrow when the younger glared at him he pulled Mingi down to whisper. “Mingi I’m going to need you to leave. I plan to kiss Choi San at least two more times and if you’re here that won’t happen again so go.” Mingi looked at the boy shocked just nodding and handing the food over and the younger went back to smiling and bouncing as he closed the door. “Sorry Sannie, Mingi couldn’t come in, but he dropped the food off.” San was now sitting on his bed smiling at Wooyoung. “Thanks Woo you don’t have to look after me if you don’t want to just because Mingi couldn’t.” The younger gasped, running to San’s side and tugging his shirt. “Are you saying you don’t want me here Sannie?” San looked shocked at Wooyoung. “No! That’s not what I meant! I meant like if you were busy! Of course I want you here!!” The younger smiled laughing pulling on San’s arm to indicate he was just kidding and the older calmed down.  
The rest of the night was spent with Wooyoung glued to San’s side stealing kisses here and there. Wooyoung felt dangerous kissing a man, who even after San told him many times that he was not, was taken. But Wooyoung also loved the thrill that went through his veins when he kissed San. That’s how Mingi found them next morning using his extra key to get in seeing the pairs legs tangled together and Wooyoung tightly held to San’s chest as the boy held Wooyoung’s small frame. The pair did look amazing together. Mingi was happy for them. But Mingi was way off with what he assumed happened. He shook the pair dancing around. “Oh my god it happened!!! That was so much easier than I thought it would! Sorry Woo, I thought I would have to beat your ass to get you to fall in love with San!!!” San looked mortified and Wooyoung looked confused speaking up. “What are you talking about Mingi?” That’s when the tall man realized he had fucked up. San’s eyes screamed fear and Wooyoung pulling his body slowly away from San wasn’t a good sign. “I don’t know what I meant, forget it! How was the sleepover?” Wooyoung looked between the two scanning over San’s fearful face. “It’s me? It’s me San?” San couldn’t even look at the younger and couldn’t answer him as well. The younger got up feeling like his body was on fire full of mixed emotions he ran out of San’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if updates become slow I have two exams the second half of this week and a covid test today! Let's hope for the best, but to keep up to date with my story don't forget to bookmark it or add me on Twitter at Hwas_babie I often post about this story!


	6. Blond and Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck how could San think he could just pass by the purple-haired angel without his body reacting like this, but he’d felt confident for once. He just felt dumb now, sitting on the floor spitting blood into the toilet. He pulled himself off the floor staring at a drop of dark blood on the toilet as he sighed.   
> “Fuck Min, maybe I should get the surgery.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry this took so long! I had so many exams last week and got sick, but I'm back now! I won't make you guys wait that long again don't worry!!

To say the younger boy was avoiding San would be a nice way to put it. Once San returned to classes Wooyoung would do a full 180 anytime he would get so much as a glimpse of the boy. Wooyoung was full of emotions that he couldn't sort out and yes, maybe he was being an asshole by avoiding San, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t look at the older male without heart-rending guilt eating him up. The poor boy was going to die and Wooyoung couldn’t do anything about it. Well, he could fall in love with him, but Wooyoung knew that wouldn’t happen. Wooyoung wasn’t the way he was for no reason. Sure everyone loved him, everyone wanted him, but he had around four friends. Wooyoung couldn’t open himself up to people, let alone love again. He was closed off forever and it hurt to know that he couldn’t save San because he couldn’t open his heart again. Sure he thought San was cute and liked him, but he liked lots of guys, he liked attention, he liked kissing. He didn’t like falling in love or relationships. The boy didn’t know what to do except avoid San. This was hard as Yunho would pass him glances and try to speak to him about San, but he couldn’t do it. He was too scared to open up. Wooyoung liked having fun, not getting serious. San was fun, but now it’s serious and he can’t do it.   
San was getting worse. After Wooyoung left his room that day the petals would only come in groups and happened more often. One look from the male in the hallway was enough to send him running even if Wooyoung was heading in the opposite direction. San had become quite well acquainted with the university bathroom floors. The school now knew about his disease and pitied him, telling his professors to allow the poor boy to leave at any time if needed. That was nice, but it also was nerve-wracking that so many people knew. He hoped this was all that no one else would find out. Today was a particularly bad day as San had dreamed of the purple-haired angel not running, but staying at his side holding his hand. Today was the first day he coughed up a full flower. Looking down at the black pansy floating on the surface, San was sobbing heavily before he even knew what was happening. He gripped his face as the tears streamed down his face, guilt and pain flooding his mind. He knew that Wooyoung would never love him back. Why did those stupid pointless kisses make him believe that maybe, just maybe, Wooyoung could save him?  
Mingi was concerned about San, seeing the male in his usual all black, but he seemed to be withering away. San looked skinnier than he had in a while and his face was deathly pale from the blood loss. The poor boy looked like shit, to put it kindly. Mingi had been helping San get to class recently, scared that the boy would pass out or stop being able to breathe. He was walking next to San as his eyes caught Wooyoung’s. The boy started coughing hard, pulling Mingi toward the nearest bathroom. Mingi grabbed San’s bag as he slammed the stall door closed, coughs tearing themselves from his throat. . This was Mingi’s least favorite part. Sitting there, not being able to help as the younger man coughed violently, sitting on the floor spitting up petals. Mingi wanted to fight Wooyoung for running away from the sick boy, but if anyone even said anything to Wooyoung, San, even in his already weak state, would try to fight them. It was easier to just not try anything. Mingi hated the look on the boy's face as he stepped out of the stall. Mingi could see the look of disgust as the boy grabbed a mint from his bag to stop the flavor of the metallic blood in his mouth.   
“San, is there anything I can do?” The boy pulled his bag on.   
“No Min, they’re full though. Full flowers now. It won’t be long. I’m sorry Min.” Mingi grabbed his arm.   
“Fuck San please, I’ll pay to get the surgery. Even if it fails it’s not like you have any hope now please. I’ll pay and don't feel bad. I can’t fucking lose you San.” The older nodded slowly, heavily.   
“I’ll think about it Min.” Mingi rolled his eyes.   
“You said that two days ago San, and it just keeps getting worse. Please.” San shook his head. “No Min. I’d rather die than not love Wooyoung.” Mingi sighed.   
“But it doesn’t make any sense, San please. He doesn’t love you back, you will find someone who will if you just get the surgery.” San shook his head.   
“No Mingi, I refuse to stop loving Jung Wooyoung even when it kills me I’ll die thinking of how desperately in love I am with that man!” San pushed past Mingi heading towards his lecture, emotions everywhere and a dizzy feeling in his head.   
San needed a change. The boy knew he was going to die soon, so why not change up his look a bit-why would it matter. He may have two months tops at this point and it was setting in how short two months really is. That’s how San ended up sitting on his bathroom floor at 2 am with a head full of bleach. He had only planned to touch up his strip when he thought, what the hell and covered his entire head. The boy was rinsing out, staring at his pretty, now blond hair. He ran his hands through the damaged hair and chuckled. He had never gone fully blond before and wasn’t sure exactly what to do with it. It was such an impulsive decision. The boy continued his impulsive behavior cutting his hair a bit shorter, so it wasn’t as shaggy. He felt like a new person. The boy fell asleep loving his new look and woke up for the first time not running to the bathroom. The boy quickly got ready pulling on a pair of tight black jeans, a white t-shirt and a thick black and white coat. The boy fixed his hair noticing that since he went to bed with it wet, it was slightly wavy. He pulled his bag on leaving his room and as soon as he stepped out of the boy’s dorm he felt eyes on him. San had stuck to all black all the time and this new hair was drawing eyes to him. Most had barely seen the boy's eyes from his shaggy hair that was now trimmed and his pretty brown eyes and soft features were on display. Many hadn’t noticed how pretty the boy was.   
Mingi grabbed his arm.  
“San! Holy shit! New hair I see! I like it!!” The smaller boy smiled showing off his dimples. “Thanks Min, I just thought what the hell, might as well try something new.” The taller nodded as they walked into the main building. San felt incredibly anxious because of all the eyes on him, but he didn’t want to cower away. He just kept telling himself he didn’t have long anyway so let them stare. That was until he saw a particular set of eyes from an angel just staring at him. Not running as they had been the past few days.   
Holy shit Choi San was fucking hot. He had been hot before, but the now blond male was walking down the hall with Mingi when he caught Wooyoung’s eyes. Wooyoung gripped Yeosang’s arm, whispering in his ear as he did so.   
“Fuck Yeo is that San?” The taller boy nodded.   
“Well, you’ve made out with him-you tell me.” Wooyoung slapped the boy's arm lightly as he stared at San. The blond worked so well with his tanned skin. Wooyoung wanted to turn, wanted to run like he had been doing, but couldn’t pull himself to run. He just couldn’t stop looking at the male. His heart was thudding in his ears, a slow warm blush slowly covering both cheeks as the older male stared back at him. As soon as it had happened it was done. The older male passed right by Wooyoung. Fuck. It was going to be hard to avoid Choi San and deny his desires when the male was walking around like that. Wooyoung grabbed Yeosang’s arm pulling him towards his first class of the day, huffing out that San hadn’t even said anything, to which Yeosang reminded him that “he had been running away from the boy”.   
Right after San had moved past Wooyoung he gripped Mingi’s arm to signal bathroom, and quick. The taller male quickly supported San and helped him to the nearest bathroom. The boy barely made it, coughing hard, feeling the petals fall from his lips and the blood run down his chin. Fuck how could San think he could just pass by the purple-haired angel without his body reacting like this, but he’d felt confident for once. He just felt dumb now, sitting on the floor spitting blood into the toilet. He pulled himself off the floor staring at a drop of dark blood on the toilet as he sighed.   
“Fuck Min, maybe I should get the surgery.” The boy flushed the toilet, coming out of the stall and Mingi grabbed his arm.  
“Really San?! You can get it today if we leave now the hospital said for you to come back anytime! We can go now!” San felt overwhelmed with Mingi holding his arm happily as he bounced up and down.   
“Let me think about it some more Min, maybe tomorrow.” Mingi nodded happily, thinking about his best friend getting to live.   
“Okay Min wipe that smile off and let’s go I have a lecture.” The boys walked out and Mingi saw his boyfriend across the hall. San waved him off heading to the lecture.   
Mingi raced over to the taller boy wrapping his arms around him. “Yuyuuuuuuu hiiiiiiiii.” He placed small kisses on his neck.   
“What’s got you so happy MinMin? You’ve been gloomy these days my love.” Mingi bounced a bit, pulling his boyfriend towards his class.   
“San’s considering the surgery, like actually considering it! He said maybe we can go tomorrow if he decided to get it! Isn’t that great Yu!” Yunho listened nodding. He was glad San was going to live, the poor boy didn’t deserve to die, but he was sad that Wooyoung and San wouldn’t have some epic love story. The older one pushed a smile kissing Mingi’s cheek as they reached his first class-dance history.   
“That’s amazing Min, I know how much San means to you. Still on for date night love?” Mingi smiles as he rests his hands around Yunho’s hips.   
“Of course love.” Yunho pulls away, going into class and sitting down next to Wooyoung.   
“Hi Woo, what’s wrong?” The boy was sitting quietly and pouting, something he never does.   
“San looks really good doesn’t he, with his new hair?” Yunho nods, deciding to play devil’s advocate for once and hoping something good comes of this.   
“Oh yeah, he does. Sorry, I just thought you heard the news.” Wooyoung’s ears perked up looking at the older male.   
“What news?” The boy looked at Wooyoung.   
“San’s surgery? You know, the one that will cure him? He’s getting it.” Wooyoung’s confused face dropped quickly feeling a sour feeling bubbling up inside of him.   
“He’s getting it?” Yunho nodded.   
“The poor boy doesn’t want to die Wooyoung. You can’t ask the kid to die for you.”   
Wooyoung nodded but his mind was going a hundred miles per hour. San was going to forget everything about him. Those kisses would be gone. His love for the younger boy would be gone forever. Everything was bubbling up inside of Wooyoung, the room going out of focus. Everything was so confusing now. San couldn’t get the surgery. Wooyoung didn’t know why, but everything in him screamed that he couldn’t let Choi San not love him even if it killed the poor boy. He couldn’t let him go. Couldn’t let him forget their kisses or the feeling of their legs tangled together. It burned in Wooyoung’s memory and he couldn’t let San forget it. Maybe he was the one holding back. Maybe he really could love the older boy if he just opened up. He couldn’t let San forget him. Hearing the professor dismiss the class the small boy jumped up grabbing his things practically running out of the room and right past Yeosang in the hall. He had to find Choi San and stop the surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fist off thank you to my amazing editor!!!!! 2nd please do comment and let me know what you think it really helps me out a lot to see what people think and gage how you guys feel the story is going! Also I know San's hair is all out of wack haha, but I wanted him to have some sort of change and a style change didn't feel right haha! Well that's all from me!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I hope you enjoyed I have not written anything like this well ever. I just kind of had an idea of this story after reading a lot about Hanahaki disease. Any comments are always welcomed I'm always looking to improve. I'm sorry if updates aren't the most regular I am a college student who is just writing this for fun! Please do look forward to my next part! Also I don't have an editor so if there are some mistakes I will try to go back and fix them!


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